Pens and pen pals: the art of letter writing

In our digital age, pens are no longer the daily tools they once were. In fact you may wonder: Why do I have so many fountain pens and inks? What do I use them for? How do I share them with someone who will appreciate them?

By writing letters, of course—let's explore the fine art of snail mail together!

How it starts

When I first joined the online fountain pen community, I didn’t quite know what I was expecting. I wanted to see how people put their pens and inks into use. I wanted to see new pens that I might not otherwise know about. I definitely wanted to learn about fountain-pen-friendly paper and planners. In fact, it was my pursuit of a fountain-pen-friendly planner that led me to find r/fountainpens on Reddit.

But what I didn’t expect was to find a small corner of the World Wide Web that was full of kind, generous, special people. I didn’t expect to find actual, honest to goodness friends. But—spoiler alert—I did.

My experience with pen pals

I can’t even tell you how I found my first pen pal or even who it was—all of my pen pals came about organically. I never sought them out as such, but it would be something along the lines of: I mailed you a pen or I offered you a washi tape sample, and I included a note. Sometimes that person wrote back. Or we just somehow decided that we would start writing letters.

I have had pen pals come and pen pals go, but thankfully none of the pen pal partings have been awkward—they just faded just as organically as they began. But I have had a few that have been very faithful writers over a number of years. I recently went through my stacks and stacks of letters—there is a book’s worth of pages in that stack. I have written to pen pals in all corners of the United States including Washington, Minnesota, Tennessee, California—and even some across the world: Taiwan, Canada, Japan, Ireland. It's been a fun and fantastic way for me to get to know people I never could have known otherwise.

Are you convinced? Are you wondering what this takes? Well, a pen pal, of course; and a pen, piece of paper, envelope, and stamp. Beyond that, it’s all just fun extras!

Finding a pen pal

If you have real life close friends that live far away from you, you can ask them if they would like a letter! You might want to start with people that are less online-focused and would be more likely to write a letter in response.

If you're looking for a more organized way to be paired up with a pen pal, you can try the r/FountainPenPals subreddit. You can sign up each month and matches are sent out after a few weeks.

Another way to get a jump start in writing to pen pals is to participate in February's International Correspondence Writing Month, or InCoWriMo. They have a public address exchange which can be risky to participate in, since it involves posting your address on the public internet. Less risky is to find people on the #incowrimo hashtag on your social media, and exchange addresses with them over private messages.

Possibly the most direct way is just to find someone who you have interacted with in the pen or stationery community and ask over PM/DM if you can write them a letter. You may find your new best friend!

What to write on, what to write with

Any pen and paper will do. It's the words you write that count. But of course, this is a pen blog, so I'm sure you're the kind of person that at least has some preferences. The perfect combination of pen, ink, and paper can certainly enhance your letter writing experience!

Your favorite pen may be the natural choice. Or, you can designate or dedicate a pen and a certain ink to letters, such as a more flashy pen that you wouldn't normally take with you to the office or isn't suitable for your daily writing. This is good if you write somewhere other than where you normally work. If you write on a daily basis in your journal or planner, you could consider using a broader nib than you normally do. Using a broader nib is a way to naturally write a bit larger and thus slow down your writing while still keeping your thoughts flowing out of your pen.

For inks, go nuts! The only consideration is to pick an ink that is saturated enough to be easily readable. Most inks other than the very lightest multi-shaders or pastels should work fine. You can use one ink for your whole letter, or often people like to use one ink per page. If your pen pal is a pen person also, you can write what inks and paper you used, on the back or at the end of the letter—this is information that they might appreciate!

As far as paper, I love the Midori MD Soft Color A5 notepad for writing my letters. It handles my fountain pens well and is affordable. Most people I correspond with like to use A5, which is about half the size of US Letter size. Some people use the slightly larger B5 size which is similar to the size of a composition book. Here are papers that I have used or others have recommended, which are available in one or both of the above sizes:

• Kokuyo Business KB
• Nakabayashi Yu-Sari
• Taccia Letter Pad (with cute Japanese prints on the back)
• Clairefontaine Triomphe
• Life Writing Paper Letter Pad
• Rhodia pads

If you prefer the clean look of plain paper rather than lined, you can print yourself some guide sheets to put behind your paper.

If you're looking for cute cards, several people recommend the Alexa Pulitzer notecards which have laid paper that is great for fountain pens. For greeting cards, unfortunately, most greeting cards aren't going to be very good for fountain pens. Instead, you can use any card, and fold a sheet of your favorite FP paper into it.

For envelopes, JetPens has a great selection of fountain-pen friendly envelopes. Remember to use permanent ink to address the envelope.

If you prefer stationery sets with both paper and envelopes, Taccia or Kakimori are good choices.

Writing your letter

What should you write about? Anything and everything!

The first letter or two might feel a little awkward since you don’t really know that person. I usually talk about myself some at first. I also will give brief information about my family and pets. Once I get established with a pen pal, I usually just ramble about my life. I also ask about their lives. I love to hear little anecdotes about trips, hobbies, fountain pens, pets, children, and families.

One thing I like to do is to include a little “currently” section in most of my letters: what am I reading, watching, eating, drinking, looking forward to, hoping for, dreading...? I also love receiving this kind of update from my pals. It’s a really fun way to share snippets about your life.

I have even seen letter writers who do fantasy/fiction-type letters where they pretend to live in a different era and have a different persona and life. I have not ventured into this type of letter writing, but it does intrigue me.

One of my pen pals is around my age, but has a very different life than I do—she is not married and does not have children, so it always fascinates me to hear about how she conducts her life. She has a new hobby of ceramics and it’s so interesting to learn about that. She has made some really cool stuff—I’m about to add a mug from her to my mug collection! Another pen pal who is also close to my age has an amazing family. I love hearing all about them and the adventures they have along with their three silly dogs. This pen pal, in particular, has become one of my very best friends and I have yet to meet her “IRL,” though I know this will happen one day! I can’t wait for that day.

Personalizing and jazzing up your letters

Here are some ways to personalize your letters:

• Washi tape is a great way to decorate the borders of your paper to give it a distinctive look. Washi tape is available in any design and any colors that you can think of!
• Stickers can add a pop of color or whimsy to a letter and help to break up your text.
• There are lots of rubber stamps available for you to make various designs with. Hobonichi has a set, or Pilot has some cute Frixion mini-stamps that are self-inking. There are also lots of fountain-pen-centric designs that can be found on Etsy.
• Postage stamps of various designs can be a fun way to make your envelope more memorable and get your friend excited about opening it. Next time you're at the post office, ask to see what they have. You might discover some gems!
• Wax seals can put a personal touch and a retro flair on your letter.
• Letterlocking or Pigeon Posted paper are some ways to discover new ways of folding your paper into interesting patterns!

I tend to keep my decorations on the minimal side, but I do like to add some washi tape and well-placed stickers. I often include stickers in my letters for my pen pals to use or pass on to others. I have also included washi tape cards in my letters. I use Zebra mildliner highlighters to add some variation to my writing. Simply Gilded is my favorite brand of washi tape. I get my stickers from everywhere!

What next?

What if I forget what I wrote about in a past letter? Well, honestly? Oh well. I gave up on this one long ago. If I repeat myself, no big deal—they probably forgot, too. What if I don’t write often enough or write back quickly enough? Again, honestly? No. big. deal. Letter writing is a casual, slow burning joy. Take your time. Enjoy the anticipation of receiving a letter.

Write when you feel inspired, relaxed, or want to feel a personal connection. If you're not doing well, there is no need to pressure yourself to write a letter. In my recent period of surgery recovery, there were several weeks when I just didn't feel like doing anything, let alone writing letters. This is totally OK!

On the other hand, if you're feeling stressed, that may be a great time to write to a close friend and open your heart to them—settling down in your favorite chair and writing a letter could be relaxing and cathartic!

I hope that this post gets you excited about pen pals and inspires you to seek out one of your own. Do you have a pen pal? Comment here on my Substack, and let me know!

Originally posted at Inky Thoughts from a Superplannergirl. Resource suggestions contributed by @paradoxmo and other community members!